Uruguay and Argentina will advance in the World Cup

I'm going to go Uruguay and Argentina [to win their knockout games].

Russia will defeat Spain in the World Cup knockout stage

On Sunday it is España versus Russia... Russia for sure.

July 4th should always be celebrated on the first Saturday of July

They should really change July 4th so that it becomes... First Saturday in July... It needs to be a Saturday. The fact that it's a Wednesday there is absolute bullshit.

Golf does not belong in the Olympics

I'll tell you one thing I think is ridiculous is all this Olympics and golf... to me, the Olympics does – it's not golf. If you're a golfer... it just seems silly. You want to win the British Open, you want to win the Masters, you want to win the U.S. Open... nobody cares about the Olympics. It's track and field, it's weight lifting, it's swimming.

Holly Flax is a Mount Rushmore character from The Office

I think Holly – Holly Flax. I mean, she was like she was girl, Michael Scott, female Michael Scott.

Jan Levinson became a better and more insane character after her breast augmentation

Fucking Jan was great... I guess [I would take her] post-boob job because she just got even more insane.