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Void
Big CatBig Cat

If a team gets eliminated within one week of the playoffs starting, the playoff appearance never really happened

I have a hard and fast rule when it comes to the playoffs. If you get eliminated within a single week, it never really happened... No one's gonna remember you're in the playoffs, which is probably for the better.

This is a subjective logic used for comedic coping.

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Win
Apr 29, 2024
#12413
Peter SchragerPeter Schrager

The Falcons drafted Michael Penix Jr. to avoid quarterback purgatory

This move to them ensures that no matter what happens in the next two to three years... they will not be in quarterback purgatory. They viewed Michael Penix as a top 10 prospect in this draft. They themselves do not see them being in the top 10 again now that they have Kirk Cousins.

This accurately reflects the reasoning later provided by Falcons GM Terry Fontenot.
Loss
Apr 29, 2024
#12400
MaxMax

Joel Embiid is having a better series than Jalen Brunson

Joel Embiid is scoring 35 points a game. 45% from the field and a plus 34 when he's on the court... Jalen Brunson is scoring 33 points a game 40% from the field and is a minus three when he's on the court. And the difference that people are talking about Jalen Brunson and Joel Embiid is absolutely insane.

While the raw plus/minus favored Embiid, the Knicks won the series 4-2 and Brunson had several legendary performances (including a 47-point game) that led directly to wins.
Loss
Apr 29, 2024
#12402
MaxMax

The Sixers are a better basketball team than the Knicks, the Knicks just want it more

The Sixers are a better basketball team. It's just that [the Knicks] want it more. They are just dogs. They want, it's just that they want it more.

The Knicks finished higher in the regular season and won the head-to-head playoff series; in basketball, results usually define who the 'better' team is.

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Push
Big CatBig Cat

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

The 'cheat code' status of a team's over is based on a specific run of games; eventually, Vegas adjusts the lines.
Win
Big CatBig Cat

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

The bounty itself is a factual offer made by the hosts.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?

The Dolphins' internal view on 'everything being on the table' is a subjective claim about team strategy.