David Tepper should sue the S2 cognition test people for ruining his operation

I think that David Tepper should sue the S2 people because I am studying for the bar exam and you have to prove that you have financial damages and liability. David Tepper could very easily be like, 'You fucked over my entire operation.'

The S2 cognition test people are trying to cover their asses regarding CJ Stroud

The S2 cognition test or whatever the fuck it's called... they're literally just trying to cover their ass. Like combine seasons coming up. Once CJ Stroud ended up being incredible and Rookie of the Year and all these things, they have to cover their ass some ways. So they're like, 'Haha, just a prank, it was an incorrect test score and it never should have been counted.'

Kyle Shanahan has 'shit for brains' when it comes to clock management

You basically make the perfect football coach in terms of demeanor, scheme, intellect... and then you say, 'but let's just tweak it a little bit to fuck with him.' Let's give him a quarterback he never fully trusts and also give him shit for brains when it comes to clock management. And that's Kyle Shanahan.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?