Bryce Harper probably demanded his $330M contract be paid entirely via Cash Card

I bet you that Bryce Harper has a cash card. I bet you he demanded his entire contract to be paid in the cash card. Do you know why? Because $330 million is cool. But you know what's really cool is having the cash card from the Cash App.

Kyler Murray is officially draftable on my board because he measured at 5'10"

So 5'10", I like him now. He is draftable. He moved up my big board. He is still undraftable for John Elway, like eight inches too short. John Elway even said that. He was like, yeah, he's... You can't get him under center.

Jason Witten's return to the NFL is a genius move to save his broadcasting legacy

What Jason Witten has just pulled off... with the one year of broadcasting that he did. And he was bad. He was very bad. He is now going back to the NFL, and now he can forever be the guy where, well, he never got his second year, so we don't know. The jury's still out on whether or not Jason Witten is bad, and history will be kind to him and not mock him.

Shohei Ohtani was just playing against electricians in the World Baseball Classic

If you're talking about Shohei, you can literally say he was just playing against electricians. He got shut out by an electrician.

I am against prenups because marriage should be forever

I'm against prenups. Because if you're getting married, you're never—you're getting married to be together forever. If you really love someone, the money shouldn't matter.

The Celtics are completely back with Jayson Tatum returning to form

He looks so good. The Celtics looks so good. They're, they're so back. Missoula is such a good coach. And he's not forcing it and like trying to take over. 'cause when your team's already second on the east, you don't need to come back and be a superstar.