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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Millennials are killing breasts because they are desensitized by the internet

Millennials are killing boobs. So boobs are on the hot seat. ... Hooters is going through some down times. ... It's actually just because millennials aren't going to the restaurants anymore because they don't like boobs. ... By the time you're 18, you're like a seasoned veteran.

Economic data does show Hooters and similar 'breastaurant' models declining with younger demographics, though 'killing boobs' is a satirical framing.

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Loss
Aug 20, 2018
#15693
Big CatBig Cat

The NFL is dead because of the new preseason penalty rules

Today is Monday, August 20th, and the NFL's dead. Yeah, it's absolutely, there's no reason to watch the games this year, because everything's a flag. Yep, preseason football has shown us. We're not overreacting, guys. I saw a couple clips on Twitter. It's over.

The NFL did not actually die; ratings remained high and the league continued normally despite the rule changes.
Loss
Aug 20, 2018
#15694
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

NFL referees should have a finite amount of flags to throw per game

How about the refs get a certain amount of flags? So there's a finite amount of flags that they can throw. So they each get like five flags. And once they're out, it's just – and you know it. The players know like, okay, that ref has thrown – let's say the guy who's reffing the secondary has thrown all five of his flags in the fourth quarter. Just fucking do whatever you want because you can't throw anything.

The NFL never implemented a limit on official flags.
Win
Aug 20, 2018
#29040
Big CatBig Cat

The NFL will eventually call significantly fewer of these new preseason penalties once the regular season starts

I actually think the NFL is going to figure it out. I'm no longer in the hysteria camp. ... They're setting the tone. And once the season starts, they're going to probably call significantly less of these penalties. And I just can't imagine the NFL being like that one penalty that we're talking about, the Vikings sack. Like that can't be called. They won't do it.

The NFL did eventually dial back the enforcement of the 'body weight' and 'helmet' rules after a massive outcry during the first few weeks of the 2018 season.

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Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Maxx Crosby to the Ravens is a great move that makes their defense scary

Congrats to the Ravens. Congrats to Jesse Minter. This is a good, a great move. Their defense is gonna be scary. I love the transition from Maxx Crosby was always meant to be playing in a badass uniform. Raiders to Ravens, it's like, okay.

The trade is real and the Ravens defense is historically elite.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Cowboys 'monitoring' every situation is just a facade for doing nothing

Thoughts and prayers to the Dallas Cowboys who are now leading the NFL in number of guys that they're monitoring... they've been monitoring every situation. So they were monitoring the Crosby situation extremely closely. And they're very disappointed that they did not get Maxx Crosby, despite the fact that they're monitoring.

It's a satirical take on the Cowboys' lack of action in free agency/trades.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Kyler Murray's next team will reveal whether he actually cares about football

I think where Kyler decides to go is going to be very interesting. Yeah. Because no, no matter where he goes, I think we'll be able to say some very definitive statements about Kyler that might, might be wrong, but we'll definitely say them. If he goes to the Jets, it's like, oh, Kyler wanted to take a paycheck. Right. And he still doesn't care about football. Right.

Kyler Murray's reputation for 'not caring' is a long-standing trope that would likely be applied to a paycheck-driven move.

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