Theo Epstein is a genius for not trading Kyle Schwarber because he knew a pandemic and 60-game season were coming

Theo Epstein is a fucking genius. He knew that we were gonna have a pandemic and then a 60-game season and that's why I didn't trade Kyle Schwarber in 2016.

Tom Brady is on the hot seat for leading workouts during the COVID-19 spike

Tom Brady is on the hot seat... despite the NFLPA advising that players should not work out together, Tom Brady led another Bucks workout this morning. Wow, in a state where coronavirus cases are spiking. He had nine players working out together.

Ben Roethlisberger's porn addiction admission is a genius move to distract from his real past

This was genius by him. Of course everything that he does is genius, right? Be like, I'm not talking about my real past. I'm talking about my porn. And yes, this is the androstenedione in the locker for Mark McGwire that Roethlisberger's bringing.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?