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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Every crime headline should include the sports teams the criminal roots for

Every time that there's a crime in the paper, if the detectives are able to figure out what teams they supported, they should include that in the headline. So like Pittsburgh Penguins fan hits Washington Wizards fan in a drunk driving accident.

This is a satirical rule suggestion for newspapers.

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Win
Dec 23, 2016
#15727
Big CatBig Cat

Grayson Allen should seek treatment for his tripping addiction

He's addicted to tripping. He's got a problem. He should go to rehab. Go to rehab for tripping. Seek treatment.

Grayson Allen continued to have multiple tripping/flagrant foul incidents throughout his career in both college and the NBA.
Void
Dec 23, 2016
#27701
Big CatBig Cat

Grayson Allen is everything I need in college basketball right now

Grayson Allen is everything I need in college basketball. And I think most Duke fans, the rational Duke fans, we have a mutual respect. I hate their guts. But they're like, you know what? [We] need [each other] to exist.

Void
Dec 23, 2016
#27702
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Coach K uses 'dizzy spells' and gray hair as deflection tactics when Duke is struggling

Look out for Coach K to maybe take a little heat off Grayson Allen, have a little dizzy spell sometime soon... Or he could grow the gray hair out a little bit and be like, you boys are giving me gray hairs. And then once they start playing well again, just dye it totally jet black again.

This is a satirical theory about Coach K's behavior patterns that cannot be definitively proven.

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Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Winter is officially over and next week will be golf weather

I think it's the official end of winter. Winter's done. Next week it's gonna be 60. Get the golf shoes out, get the shorts out. We made it another year of winter in Chicago.

This is a short-term weather prediction that would be resolvable within a week of the episode date.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nebraska will finally get their first NCAA tournament win this year

I do think this is the year Nebraska gets their win. I think they have to. They're gonna be like minus 300 in the first round, minus 400. They gotta win.

Nebraska's first-round game in the 2026 tournament will determine if this is correct.
Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If Tom Izzo makes this year's Final Four, I will admit I was wrong about him being overrated for the last 10 years.

I think it just feels like it's Izzo. He's gonna go out in the Final Four. He's gonna get there. This is for whether or not he's overrated or not. I will admit that I was wrong. I had 10 years of being wrong about Tom Izzo if they make it to this Final Four.

Michigan State did not make the Final Four in 2026, meaning PFT did not have to retract his take.

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