Trevor Lawrence has officially arrived in the NFL

Trevor Lawrence has officially arrived in the NFL. He played very well. This was officially his first game.

Urban Meyer looks miserable and doesn't like coaching in the NFL

Urban Meyer, what are you doing? Urban Meyer doesn't like coaching football. It was pretty apparent like in the first half... He just looks like he's miserable out there all the time. I don't know why he does it to himself.

The Bengals are officially on 'frisky watch'

The Bengals, I think are officially on frisky watch. Who is more frisky? The Bengals or the Panthers. I think the Panthers... The Bengals just joined the Panthers in the frisky watch.

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Terry Funk, Eddie Guerrero, Harley Race, and Dusty Rhodes are the all-time greats

I like to say six grandfathers instead of Mount Rushmore... Brett Hart... Roddy Piper... Terry Funk... Eddie Guerrero... Harley Race... Dusty Rhodes. Six with a bullet.

St. Louis is a terrible city with shit sports teams and paste-like pizza

St. Louis isn't great. Sports teams shit. Pizza not good. I don't even think it's cheese. I think they use like, some sort of glue or paste. It's a whole, whole entire city of people sitting under an arch eating paste.

The Edmonton Oilers are choke artists and will never win a Stanley Cup

He [McDavid] ain't winning a cup in, in Edmonton. No. Oh. Not at all. They fucking, they're choke artists. They might, they might as well might as well be Maple Leafs. It ain't, it ain't gonna fucking happen.