Joey Bosa needs to shave his goatee to win over public support during his contract holdout

Number one is, dude, you got to shave the goatee. No one's going to be lining up behind you to support you if you're wearing the goatee. Right now, Joey Bosa, he looks like the evil dimension version of Joey Bosa. You're not doing yourself any favors with the facial hair.

Dropping a 'trash' signature sneaker is the new version of a celebrity sex tape for staying relevant

Dropping a trash signature sneaker is like the new sex tape. That's how you get people talking about you.

Charlie Weis hacked life by getting paid $24 million specifically to not work

But if you really look at the facts, what Charlie's done with his career is what we should all strive for. And that's he's getting paid $24 million to not work. And in what world – he's basically hacked life, OK? ... He has figured out how to design an offense that's so bad that people will pay you not to implement it.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?