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Jim Harbaugh's adoption stance is actually a long-term recruiting strategy to build a super team

He's essentially just opened the doors being like, I will take any babies that my team produces. And guess what? It's a lot easier to recruit your adopted sons than it is some random kid... He's building a super team for 20 years from now. Embryos are getting an offer letter to Michigan.

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This is a satirical interpretation of Harbaugh's pro-life comments and not a literal prediction of Michigan's roster in 2042.

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Void
Jul 29, 2022
#18770
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Arizona Cardinals leaked Kyler Murray's contract to make him look bad

I think it was more along the lines of, he thinks it's disrespectful that somebody leaked the contract... because it doesn't make anybody look good. It doesn't make the Cardinals look good to be like, oh yeah, we just guaranteed 166 million to a guy that we have to monitor to make sure he is doing his homework every night.

The source of the leak was never officially confirmed, but the Cardinals eventually removed the clause following the backlash, supporting the idea that the leak backfired.
Void
Jul 29, 2022
#18772
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

You shouldn't be called a streaker unless you are fully nude

You shouldn't be allowed to be called a streaker unless you're fully committed and you go totally nude on it. I wanna just tip my hat to that individual... and not just running out there in a t-shirt having Al Michaels be like, and we're not gonna show you the streaker on the field. Cause I think that's bullshit.

This is a subjective definition of a slang term.
Win
Jul 29, 2022
#18773
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Julio Jones has gone downhill and no longer looks explosive

I feel like he's gone downhill as a player. Like he didn't look explosive last year at all. Well, the fact that he's 33 and he's like old and at the end of his career is just very, it's like a bummer just to think about.

Julio Jones finished the 2022 season with only 299 receiving yards and 2 touchdowns, confirming that his elite days were over.

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Big CatBig Cat

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

The 'cheat code' status of a team's over is based on a specific run of games; eventually, Vegas adjusts the lines.
Win
Big CatBig Cat

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

The bounty itself is a factual offer made by the hosts.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?

The Dolphins' internal view on 'everything being on the table' is a subjective claim about team strategy.