Yankee fans holding a candlelight vigil for Aaron Judge's broken wrist is outrageous

This is outrageous for a fucking broken wrist. I think he [Aaron Judge] just got hit in the wrist and a little bone came off... I don't think Jose Fernandez got this type of tribute.

Snakes, lizards, and ferrets are 'pre-crime' animals that shouldn't be trusted

As if we needed another animal to not trust. Yeah, the pre-crime animals. Ferrets and snakes and all that bullshit. A lizard usually, yeah.

Ben Roethlisberger is the last person who should be giving anyone etiquette advice on how to talk to women

You've got Ben Roethlisberger giving etiquette advice, saying you don't ask a woman her age. If there's anybody that knows how to talk to women, it's Ben Roethlisberger.

Maxx Crosby to the Ravens is a great move that makes their defense scary

Congrats to the Ravens. Congrats to Jesse Minter. This is a good, a great move. Their defense is gonna be scary. I love the transition from Maxx Crosby was always meant to be playing in a badass uniform. Raiders to Ravens, it's like, okay.

The Cowboys 'monitoring' every situation is just a facade for doing nothing

Thoughts and prayers to the Dallas Cowboys who are now leading the NFL in number of guys that they're monitoring... they've been monitoring every situation. So they were monitoring the Crosby situation extremely closely. And they're very disappointed that they did not get Maxx Crosby, despite the fact that they're monitoring.

Kyler Murray's next team will reveal whether he actually cares about football

I think where Kyler decides to go is going to be very interesting. Yeah. Because no, no matter where he goes, I think we'll be able to say some very definitive statements about Kyler that might, might be wrong, but we'll definitely say them. If he goes to the Jets, it's like, oh, Kyler wanted to take a paycheck. Right. And he still doesn't care about football. Right.