I am officially retired from competitive eating

I retired from competitive eating. After these past three ELLs, I just want to eat regular sized portions. Please respect my decisions.

Gonzaga will never make it back to a Final Four

Gonzaga is like, I don't think they'll be back. I'm sure they have great recruits and everything, but damn, that's a [loss]. That's never going to get to a Final Four.

Coach K will lose the game immediately after his 100th career tournament victory

Of course [Coach K] is going to get to 100. He's probably going to lose the next game so he can walk away with exactly a hundred clean wins, just straight up three figures.

Miami of Ohio 100% deserves to be in the NCAA Tournament despite their first-round loss

I think a hundred percent they should be in. We need to just focus on the fact that there, I believe 31 and one and not do anything about strength of schedule. If you're able to go an entire season without losing a game that's hard to just wake up every day and not stumble once. I wanna see what happens when they play their first quad win one game in the middle of March.

Conference tournaments are bad for top teams because they don't improve your seeding and lead to unnecessary fatigue

I'm kind of done with the conference tournaments. Like they just fuck you. It doesn't make your seed better and you end up being more tired today. If you have to play four games, you're just gonna get screwed.

Kyler Murray will be the next Sam Darnold now that he's with the Vikings

Kyler Murray is a Viking. We all kind of expected it. It happened. He's going to be the next Sam Darnold. The NFC North now has three number one picks at quarterback with Kyler Murray, Caleb Williams, Jared Goff. Kind of cool.