I am the world's best at finding open tables or seats in packed bars
I think I'm number one in the world at finding open tables at packed bars or seats in general... I will always find an open table... if you come out with me, I will get us a seat. I will not stand up.
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View episodeLearn to do everything left-handed when you are eight years old
I would say learn to do everything left-handed. Tie your right hand behind your back for a while [when you're eight].
Cursive is an overrated and useless skill
Cursive is overrated. All of our eight-year-old listeners, cursive is [fucking]... You'll never need it again.
I was 6'4" and dunking in a basketball game by the 8th grade
I was 6'4 in eighth grade. I dunked in a basketball game in eighth grade. You're Magic Johnson. You're playing all five positions. I was like, dude, this is the greatest thing ever. I'm going to the league.
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View profileI love the DJ Moore trade for the Bears because it clears cap space for Max Crosby or Tyler Linderbaum
I love this trade because you clear up money. [DJ Moore's] got a big pretty hefty contract so you clear up money to maybe go get a Max Crosby or a Linderbaum. You get a pick and you make the bet that Luther Burden and Rome Odunze are gonna be taking leaps forward.
DJ Moore would not have had a 1,000-yard season if he stayed in the Bears' offense
He could have a thousand yards [with the Bills] and be like, wow. How, how could you trade him? He wouldn't have had a thousand yards in this Bear's offense.
Malik Willis is the #1 free agent backup quarterback
Top quarterback free agents... Is it also Malik Willis? Malik Willis is, yes. So he's number one. Malik Willis one.