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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Minor league teams should hold a 'Coke Night' promotion featuring cocaine-themed relay races

Minor league teams like to have fun with all sorts of wacky promotion nights, right? Why not have a Coke night? ... You give the mascot a vacuum, you give the little kid a vacuum, and then you see who can suck up the foul line the fastest on the way out to the outfield.

This is a satirical suggestion for a marketing promotion.

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Apr 7, 2017
#7876
Big CatBig Cat

Dustin Johnson should have followed the Tiger Woods handbook and winced his way through a few holes before withdrawing

In true Tiger Woods fashion, [Dustin Johnson] should have winced and keeled over, hit a couple shots. Maybe see if he gets like a birdie to start and then keep playing. And if not, then quit and withdraw. That's the Tiger Woods handbook.

This is a subjective opinion on how a player should handle an injury for maximum 'grit' points.
Void
Apr 7, 2017
#22527
Big CatBig Cat

Something is fishy about Dustin Johnson's staircase injury

Dustin Johnson, allegedly fell down a staircase with socks on. We got some tips on what exactly happened because we all agree we don't buy it, right? There's something fishy going on here.

While there were many rumors (suspensions, fights), the official story remains a fall down the stairs. It remains an unproven conspiracy.
Void
Apr 7, 2017
#7878
Big CatBig Cat

Pimento cheese sandwiches at the Masters are probably overrated

I know what a pimento cheese sandwich is, but I'm guessing that it's not as unbelievable as everyone's making it off to be.

The quality of a sandwich is inherently subjective.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Winter is officially over and next week will be golf weather

I think it's the official end of winter. Winter's done. Next week it's gonna be 60. Get the golf shoes out, get the shorts out. We made it another year of winter in Chicago.

This is a short-term weather prediction that would be resolvable within a week of the episode date.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nebraska will finally get their first NCAA tournament win this year

I do think this is the year Nebraska gets their win. I think they have to. They're gonna be like minus 300 in the first round, minus 400. They gotta win.

Nebraska's first-round game in the 2026 tournament will determine if this is correct.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

This year's Final Four will determine if Tom Izzo is overrated

I think it just feels like it's Izzo. He's gonna go out in the Final Four. He's gonna get there. This is for whether or not he's overrated or not. I will admit that I was wrong... if they make it to this Final Four.

If Michigan State makes the Final Four, PFT will concede his long-standing take.

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