You never win an overtime bet; it's where underdogs and unders go to die.

We could do without overtime though. [It] is a sword to the stomach if you have any sort of action. Because you never win an overtime bet. Never. Dogs die there, unders go to die there.

Kyle Neptune is not a good basketball coach and has to go

Kyle Neptune sucks at coaching basketball. You are not crazy. He got absolutely worked by Shaka Smart. The fact that he didn't call a timeout with 30 seconds left in the game... That guy is not a good basketball coach. Jay Wright would've won that game. It was disgusting... Kyle Neptune's gotta go.

Duke locking their Twitter comments after the NC State loss is the softest thing ever

It was also classic Duke, because after the game they did post the final score on Twitter. Yep. But they locked the comments. Yep. Classic, classic college shutting down free speech on in in America... I think it's better that they just don't post the final score than if they post it and then shut it down.

Disney adults without kids should be sent to jail

I just think there should be two lines at Disney. One for people with kids and one for people without. And the people with kids get to go in the park and the people without get to go to jail, you have to go to jail. There should be a line right into a jail cell.

I am done with acting in Hollywood movies and will focus only on stand-up and podcasting

I'm out dude. I have no business in the business. I'm out. Stand up and podcasting. I'm 42 in a month and I've had a great, I love doing Dave... but the business has changed and I have more fun doing stand-up and podcasting by far than I ever did doing that other stuff.

Disney adults are weird and scary

I live in California. I live in Southern California. When I see all these people that have like yearly passes and I'm like, you guys have kids? And they're like, no. And I'm like, okay. I don't think we can talk anymore... It scares me.