Minnesota sports fans deserve to celebrate play-in wins like championships because they are a factory of sadness

Minnesota is an absolute factory of sadness... The Timberwolves had Kevin Garnett... they went to one Western conference final with him... the twins have lost 13 straight playoff games... So if you're a Minnesota fan celebrate, like this is a championship because it has been that bad and they deserve a young, fun team like this.

There is a zero percent chance LeBron James watched the WNBA draft

There's no way he watched a WNBA draft. There's a 0.0% chance. If he was watching WNBA draft, he would have tweeted it during the WNBA draft, not 24 hours later being like just a thought I've had on my mind recently.

The Celtics will beat the Nets in six games

I think the Celtics are going to beat the Nets. I watched that game tonight that Kevin [Durant] and Kyrie [Irving] didn't miss a shot for three quarters and the Cavs... almost won... the Nets just don't have any defense... I think the Celtics are going to beat them in six.

I am rooting for the Dominican Republic over Team USA in the WBC because they are more electric

The Dominican team is electric and I like to be entertained when I'm watching sports. This tournament's for entertainment. I want to watch more games with the Dominican Republic team. I want more. I'm rooting for the USA correctly, but I respect the hell out of the Dominican team.

I need to get into a car accident that totals my car so I have an excuse to buy a new one

I need to get in an accident that totals this car so that I have no choice but to get a new car. I want to get a sick car. That way I don't even have a choice.

The altitude on airplanes causes people to cry during movies

I was tearing up [at the F1 movie]. It's the altitude. The altitude. I didn't even like the movie that much, but the end got me and they like, oh, it's 'cause you were on a plane. That's a thing.