Jason Garrett is a total buzzkill on the broadcast

There's no better way to kill your football buzz than having Jason Garrett call the game... I know it was week zero. I know there's only like seven games. They all, they all mean something to me. And then Jason Garrett was on there and I immediately fell in a nap in the second quarter.

The Pac-12 is dying because people can't watch stars like Caleb Williams play on their network

The returning Heisman Caleb Williams, who would probably be the number one pick in the draft and no one in America could watch it 'cause it was Pac-12 network... that could not have been the better way to tip off the last Pac-12 season opener to be like, hey, this is why we're dying. Because we can't watch fucking Caleb Williams play football.

I will cut off a testicle if the Miami Hurricanes lose to Miami of Ohio

My hundred percent lock. I I will, I will cut off a testicle if Miami doesn't win that game.

I will be calling college football this fall

If I make myself publicly fully available right now, best case scenario, I'm in the booth calling college football this fall. Is that gonna happen? Is that reality? I don't know. But the odds are going to increase by making this jump right now.

The French Open court conditions were to blame for Novak Djokovic's meniscus injury

He blamed the court surface because of the rain. He asked them to wipe it multiple times and they did not approve... could this injury have been prevented? Possibly if there was just a little bit more frequent care of the court.

Dots Pretzels are the most addictive snack in existence

I've never been addicted to a snack more than this. And it's dangerous. It is crazy.