The speed at which a city's NFL players chug beer is directly correlated to the success of their local NBA/NHL teams

I said at the start of the playoffs, I was like, the speed in which your football players chug beers is directly correlated to your basketball team's success in the playoffs. And we've seen it time and again in the NHL, in the NBA. And guess what? [Aaron] Rodgers absolutely cursed [the Bucks].

If you can't chug a beer in the state of Wisconsin, you should be excommunicated

There's actually no state worse to be in and not be able to chug a beer than the state of Wisconsin. If you can't chug a beer in the state of Wisconsin, you've got to get out instantly.

Drake is a Canadian version of a trash-talker who waits to respond via subtle social media changes

That's the most Canadian response ever to a disc track is to just wait and then subtly change your social media. Yeah, take as much time as possible. That's as mean as they get in Canada.

The Chiefs-Rams Trent McDuffy trade is the first true win-win trade in NFL history

I think the only win-win trade in the history of the NFL might be the McDuffy trade. The one that just happened. Where the the Chiefs traded McDuffy to the Rams. The Rams don't give a fuck about first round picks. They got a great player and they still have their better first round pick from the Falcons. That to me is the first win-win trade in the history of the NFL.

The Rams have proven that first-round draft picks outside of the top 10 don't matter

Are the Rams doing it correctly? Not that draft picks don't matter. Draft picks outside of the top 10 don't matter as much... instead of taking risks on a bunch of 21 year olds, let's get the known commodity knowing it's a crapshoot and just keep punting that down the line being like, we don't care.

Alec Pierce is about to get a massive contract in free agency

I think Alec Pierce is about to get paid too. I think the market on Alec Pierce is gonna be crazy. Possible Patriot. Possible Commander.