Valentine's Day didn't actually happen this year because it was the day after the Super Bowl

Go fuck yourself for putting Valentine's Day the day after the Super Bowl. That snuck up on everyone. Everyone had any idea that so if you got in trouble for forgetting Valentine's Day, just tell your significant other, literally everybody forgot about it. It didn't happen this year, basically.

The NFL should add a universal bye week in December to push the Super Bowl back to the Sunday before Presidents' Day

The universal bye should be enacted. We should push the season even a further week back so that we have the Monday after Super Bowl off with President's Day... you should have a bye week that there's no NFL football in one week sometime, maybe in like early December so I can get their Christmas shopping in, reset with their family.

Valentine's Day should be moved to the NFL bye week before the Super Bowl

The Sunday of the bye week actually should be Valentine's Day. It should, we should stop making it February 14th. It should just be whatever that bye week is before the Super Bowl when there's no football on TV for everybody to be distracted by.

AJ Brown will only be traded for a first-round pick starting price

The price is the price. It starts with a first-round pick. If the Patriots want him, it's a 2027 first-round pick, not 2026, because their first-round pick this year is basically a second-round pick.

Fettuccine Alfredo is fake Italian food.

Alfredo's not real Italian. There's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine. Alfredo's fake Italian. He [Rick Pitino] would maybe do a lemon chicken, maybe do a lemon chicken Piccata. But Alfredo... Cacho e pepe, that's Italian. But there's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine.

The Sixers are a bad team that loses every game Joel Embiid doesn't play

The Sixers suck. The Sixers are a bad team. Embiid's not playing. They lose—the Sixers are back to losing every game that Embiid doesn't play.