Elon Musk should announce he bought the Yankees and immediately dissolve the team on SNL

You know, it'd be very funny if [Elon Musk] just straight up announced that he bought the Yankees and then dissolve the Yankees immediately, or the Yankees are no more.

Tom Wilson is the NHL's apex predator because goons are extinct; the Rangers shouldn't even fight him if they know they can't win

The problem is the NHL not having, they basically got like the goon, the goon is extinct in the NHL... Therefore, Tom Wilson is the toughest guy in the world and he beat the entire New York Rangers roster. And I think, I actually think for the Rangers, like if you go into that game knowing you can't beat up Tom Wilson, don't even fight him.

Healthy workplaces should allow fighting to increase productivity

I think that healthy workplaces should allow fighting. Like if you get into a fight, if you know that fisticuffs are on the table and you can fight in the first 30 minutes of your Workday, you'll probably end up having more productive day after that, you're going to get all your frustration out.

High Point is a very, very good basketball team

I actually think that High Point is a very, very good team. It was no fluke. They're a very good team.

Never bet an under in a Hawaii game

If Jake's listening, do not bet on any under in a Hawaii game.

The St. John's vs. Northern Iowa first-round matchup will be ugly as shit

You and I, they will suck the life of out of you. They've got the second best defense in the entire tournament. They, they are just kind of a pain in the ass to watch snails pace. This game feels like it's gonna be ugly as shit.