Pimento cheese sandwiches taste like microwaved Dunkaroos

You could get the same effect from microwaved Dunkaroos for 30 minutes in your microwave and then making a ball out of it. That's what the pimento cheese sandwich tastes like.

Ernie Els six-putting at the Masters is the worst thing a South African person has ever done in history

The bottom line is what Ernie Els did today was probably the worst thing a South African person has ever done... in the history of the world.

Golf is not a major sport

I don't care if someone shoots the wrong club or if I said the wrong terminology with golf. Golf is not a major sport. It's not one of the four major sports for a reason. If it were a major sport, everyone would watch it.

College basketball has five absolutely dominant teams this year

We have five, you could even maybe go to six, just absolutely dominant teams. Michigan, UConn, Duke, Arizona, and Florida that are playing at such an insane level.

Florida can win the national championship because they can shoot threes now

Florida though, I've been talking about Florida for three weeks. They could shoot threes now. They absolutely kicked [Arkansas's]... They just throttle teams. All four of [Duke, Michigan, Arizona, Florida] would be the best team in the previous five years.

Miami of Ohio will make the tournament even if they lose in the conference tournament

I'm saying right now, winning every... If they go undefeated in the conference, that is so hard to do. I think if they go undefeated in the conference and then lose in the conference tournament, I think they will be in.