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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Homer Simpson is the greatest sitcom dad of all time because every man aspires to live like him

Number one, I have Homer Simpson. That's a no-brainer. We all grew up idolizing Homer. In fact, every man's life is spent getting to a place where he can just live his life like Homer Simpson. Every man's dream. How'd you know I wanted to always dress in a muumuu?

This is a subjective ranking of fictional characters.

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Loss
Jun 19, 2017
#18073
Big CatBig Cat

Brooks Koepka is too attractive to win a major tournament

[Brooks Koepka] is way too attractive to win any kind of major tournament. Usually you need a receding hairline, some Phil Mickelson man boobs, some Tiger Woods inner demons. Give me one flaw that I can make fun of you for on Twitter and make me feel better as a person.

Koepka ended up being one of the most dominant major champions of his era, winning five total majors despite his good looks.
Void
Jun 19, 2017
#28188
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Attractive people shouldn't be good at anything because it makes them impossible to make fun of

If you're an attractive person, you shouldn't be good at anything. Give me one flaw that I can make fun of you for on Twitter and make me feel better as a person. [Brooks Koepka] has an attractive girlfriend. He just won like $3 million. He's attractive. He's the U.S. Open winner. Fuck this guy.

This is a purely subjective comedic stance on the correlation between attractiveness and talent.
Win
Jun 19, 2017
#18074
Big CatBig Cat

The U.S. Open course at Erin Hills was way too easy

The golf course lost. I expect more. I want to see the U.S. Open golf course. I want to see Jim Nance giving his tie to the course. Everyone was just hitting it right down the middle the whole time. Easiest golf course I've ever seen. So USGA, figure it out.

Erin Hills 2017 saw record low scores for a U.S. Open, with Koepka finishing at -16, supporting the idea that the course setup wasn't as punishing as traditional U.S. Opens.

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Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Winter is officially over and next week will be golf weather

I think it's the official end of winter. Winter's done. Next week it's gonna be 60. Get the golf shoes out, get the shorts out. We made it another year of winter in Chicago.

This is a short-term weather prediction that would be resolvable within a week of the episode date.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nebraska will finally get their first NCAA tournament win this year

I do think this is the year Nebraska gets their win. I think they have to. They're gonna be like minus 300 in the first round, minus 400. They gotta win.

Nebraska's first-round game in the 2026 tournament will determine if this is correct.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

This year's Final Four will determine if Tom Izzo is overrated

I think it just feels like it's Izzo. He's gonna go out in the Final Four. He's gonna get there. This is for whether or not he's overrated or not. I will admit that I was wrong... if they make it to this Final Four.

If Michigan State makes the Final Four, PFT will concede his long-standing take.

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