The Lakers are going to beat the Nuggets in their playoff series

I think they could be the nuggets... Championship experience, you know... [They've] got the players of all time. Anthony Davis, all stars, all NBA players. Why not?

The Capitals are going to be killed by the Rangers in the first round

Bad news is they have to play the Rangers who won the President's trophy, which is, you know, basically impossible to lose in the playoffs if you're that good of a team... there's like no chance that we can beat the Rangers, but I'm just glad to be there.

Caitlin Clark is going to increase WNBA revenue enough to improve rookie salaries

The w NBA draft, the, the, all the rookie wages getting tweeted out and everyone's like, what the fuck? It's like, well, this is what Caitlin Clark might be able to fix. She might be able to prove things a little bit. Like if people watch and then it starts making more money, then they get to pay more.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?