Todd Gurley lacks commitment to his potential pet cats

He's been engaged to getting a cat for way too long. People are starting to ask questions, Todd. They're saying, is this wedding ever going to happen? Lack of commitment from Todd Gurley.

Michael Jordan is better than LeBron James

I think MJ's better. [LeBron] is one of those crybabies. Yes, I do.

I was legally arrested at Super Bowl Opening Night

According to Merriam-Webster's dictionary, the definition of arrest is to take or keep in custody by authority of law. Boom. I was arrested.

The Ravens are using Maxx Crosby's failed physical as a convenient excuse to back out of the trade

Either one, [the Ravens] really trust the doctor to believe them on that or two, it's bullshit and it's made up and they're secretly planning a different move and they're using the physical as an excuse to get out of it.

The Raiders' short statement indicates Mark Davis is furious about the rescinded trade

The statement that the Raiders put out said a lot, which is just like 'they backed out of the trade. We have no further comment.' That to me sounds like a pissed off Mark Davis.

The NFL's two-day 'legal tampering' window is a dangerous gift for GMs with buyer's remorse

This two day period is so weird because something like this can happen and then nothing that has been reported over the last day actually has to happen. Right. Nothing's final yet.