Canceling an NFL game causes an immediate increase in local crime

When you cancel a game, there's a crime wave that hits the town. There's an increase in evil that we call crime. So unless you want Canton, Ohio to be run over by thugs tonight, you better have that damn kickoff.

Ryan Tannehill is effectively retired because wide receivers cannot return from knee injuries

I'm going to say [Ryan Tannehill] is injured right now because a knee injury is impossible to come back from for a wide receiver.

The sun is scientifically cold because space is cold

Where do you land, by the way, on our theory that the sun is, in fact, cold? I'm a fan of the space that just seems to shut everybody down. Space is cold and everyone just... When you said you were willing to hear it out, I was just going to say space is cold. That's it.

Duke is the best team in the country and it would be an all-time failure if they don't win the title

This is the best team in the country. It would be an all time epic failure if Duke doesn't win the national title. They are the first time I believe that a team has reached plus 40 in Ken Palm since 1999. Duke... This team has it all.

Duke not winning the national title would be the most consequential sports story of all time

I think it would be the biggest sports story of all time. If Duke did not win the national title this year. All time. I think all time story... Duke not winning at all this year would be the biggest, the most consequential sports story of all time. Not our lifetimes of all time.

Arizona's Tommy Lloyd is a candidate to choke in March because he is a Mark Few disciple

Tommy Lloyd being a Mark Few disciple, even though Arizona is really, really, really good. Yeah. I'm just like, that guy's getting choke in March.