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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tom Brady never dated Ivanka Trump because her vagina is too acidic for his diet

The female vagina, the pH levels of it, 3.5 to 4.5. It's acidic like a tomato. No chance Tom Brady eats it. Like a glass of orange juice. No chance. Inflammation city if you touch that thing. Ass, I didn't know, so I checked ass. Ass is actually more pH neutral. So he could have eaten her ass.

This is a satirical application of dietary restrictions to biology. It is non-verifiable and scientifically absurd.

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Void
Sep 22, 2017
#7841
Big CatBig Cat

Thursday Night Football is where real football gets played.

I'm saying suck it because we have long said Thursday night football is where real football gets played. You might get the Bengals and the Texans scoring no touchdowns, but you also might get a Brian Hoyer and Jared Goff shootout.

This is an ironic brand position for the show.
Void
Sep 22, 2017
#7842
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

You are a fake fan if you don't watch Thursday Night Football because of a 'bad' matchup

If you're the kind of fan that doesn't watch Thursday Night Football because you've got work tomorrow morning or it's between two of the worst teams of the past 25 years or some other excuse like that, guess what? You're a fake fan. Fake. Fraud. Shame.

Win
Sep 22, 2017
#7843
Big CatBig Cat

Sean McVay is an elite coach who has turned Jared Goff into a monster

Sean McVay... I'll tell you what, that guy can fucking coach. Because he had play calls that were like, every now and then he'd sprinkle one play in and be like, whoa, that was really nicely designed. And what he's done with Jared Goff... Sean McVay has molded him into a monster.

Sean McVay became one of the best coaches in the NFL, winning a Super Bowl and consistently having top offenses. Goff flourished under him before being traded to Detroit.

More from PFT Commenter

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Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Winter is officially over and next week will be golf weather

I think it's the official end of winter. Winter's done. Next week it's gonna be 60. Get the golf shoes out, get the shorts out. We made it another year of winter in Chicago.

This is a short-term weather prediction that would be resolvable within a week of the episode date.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nebraska will finally get their first NCAA tournament win this year

I do think this is the year Nebraska gets their win. I think they have to. They're gonna be like minus 300 in the first round, minus 400. They gotta win.

Nebraska's first-round game in the 2026 tournament will determine if this is correct.
Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If Tom Izzo makes this year's Final Four, I will admit I was wrong about him being overrated for the last 10 years.

I think it just feels like it's Izzo. He's gonna go out in the Final Four. He's gonna get there. This is for whether or not he's overrated or not. I will admit that I was wrong. I had 10 years of being wrong about Tom Izzo if they make it to this Final Four.

Michigan State did not make the Final Four in 2026, meaning PFT did not have to retract his take.

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