If you win only one Super Bowl, you actually have zero

He's won one Super Bowl, which we can get into cause I have the theory that if you win one Super Bowl, you actually have none.

Having a child is a completely transformative experience that non-parents cannot understand

That's one of those ones that like, if you don't have kids, and I'm not shaming anyone, but like when you do have a kid, you're like, oh fuck, this is completely different than anything else.

A best man speech should be three to five minutes long

I think you have to keep it like five minutes or less. I think anyone who goes longer than that is... it's three to five minutes.

Caleb Williams will be a good NFL quarterback

Yeah, I do [think Caleb's a good quarterback]. I like Swift. I like Keenan, DJ. I like the receiver from Washington [Rome Odunze]. I think the team is almost good enough to beat the Packers.

The Egyptian pyramids are much older than conventional history suggests

I'm wearing the Graham Hancock camp as far as like that the age of those structures is much older than they tell us. I'd like—I mean he talks a lot about the Younger Dryas and going back 10,800 years I believe it is. And to me that seems more in line.

I will 'sweet talk' Leonard Floyd to avoid another injury on Monday Night Football

I'm gonna have to sweet talk him [Leonard Floyd] a little bit. Pay him off. Just let me get through play five.