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Void
Big CatBig Cat

Urban Meyer's wife sent him to the bar to get his charisma back

I think Shelly Meyer might win wife of the year... led me to believe that she was like, 'Urban, go out and remember why you're Urban Meyer. Go out and hit on some chicks and get that swagger back. Get that charisma back. Get that fucking confidence back.' I think she actually sent him out to be like, go out, pick up a chick. Don't have sex with her, but pick her up and remind yourself why you're the alpha.

This is a satirical theory about Meyer's personal life that cannot be verified, but it captures the PMT style of humor perfectly.

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Win
Oct 4, 2021
#9591
Big CatBig Cat

The Patriots will round into form and flip a switch halfway through the season

I do think the Patriots are going to round into form. Now they have - clearly the Bills are the best team in the AFC East. But I do think the Patriots are going to be one of those teams where halfway through the season, everyone will be like, wait, this team, why are they getting points on the road? Why are people doubting them? Like they're going to flip a switch and everything's going to start kind of working a little bit.

The Patriots went on a 7-game winning streak from Week 7 to Week 13, effectively flipping the switch as predicted.
Void
Oct 4, 2021
#9593
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Taylor Heinicke is a young Ryan Fitzpatrick

Taylor Heinicke is just a young Ryan Fitzpatrick because he's fucking psycho. He doesn't play by any of the rules... He loves throwing across his body. He loves throwing across the field. He loves almost getting sacked. It's crazy.

This is a subjective comparison of playstyles, though Heinicke did sustain a similar 'journeyman backup with high variance' career path.
Loss
Oct 4, 2021
#9595
Big CatBig Cat

I am all the way back on Daniel Jones and the Giants might be good

I'm all the way back on Danny Dimes... Something about that game was incredible. He was like, there are so many times where I'm like Danny Dimes is going to throw a pick, Danny Dimes is going to fumble. He was awesome today. Saquon Barkley was awesome. The Giants, I now think the Giants might be good and it's a sickness of mine.

The Giants finished 4-13 in 2021, and Daniel Jones struggled with injuries and performance. They were definitely not 'good'.

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Push
Big CatBig Cat

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

The 'cheat code' status of a team's over is based on a specific run of games; eventually, Vegas adjusts the lines.
Win
Big CatBig Cat

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

The bounty itself is a factual offer made by the hosts.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?

The Dolphins' internal view on 'everything being on the table' is a subjective claim about team strategy.