I'm the reason people like Joe Buck now

two-time Joe Buck, who people like him now because of us, I'm just gonna say it.

Pardon My Take is responsible for making punting cool again

Did we bring punting back? Yeah, we made punting cool again. I've seen it everywhere since Punt Week. Ooh, punters this, punters that. These punters, they're so cool.

The only way to avoid male pattern baldness is to murder your grandfather before he loses his hair

Yeah, the only way to not inherit male pattern baldness from your mom's father is if you murder him before he goes bald.

Neither Penn State nor Wisconsin will make the College Football Playoff

No, neither team is going to get in [to the Final Four]. And the committee, let me tell you how this works... they wouldn't have put Michigan at number five if they really were anticipating putting the winner of this game in.

Ohio State and Clemson are the only teams with the speed to match up with Alabama

Athletically they [Ohio State] had the players to match up with Alabama. And I think right now that Clemson fits in that same mold... Ohio State could [match up], and I think Clemson could also.

Oregon and Texas should have kept Mark Helfrich and Charlie Strong

I would have kept them both [Mark Helfrich and Charlie Strong], by the way. Absolutely. I really think you've got to give a guy four years.