If you're actually good at Madden, I don't want to hang out with you

If you are the guy that plays Madden and you were really good at Madden, I don't like you. That tells me that I don't want to hang out with you.

I'm staying away from Derek Carr because his brother David was so bad

I actually stay away from Derek Carr because I remember David Carr and how bad he was. I'm like, I'm not touching that guy.

The Little League World Series is losing its way because the mic'd up coaches are too soft

I think the Little League World Series is losing who they are. I think the mic'd up coaches saying that they love all their kids too much... I'm here to watch kids screw up and cry. If you're going to make me feel bad about that, I hate you.

Rory McIlroy's Masters win was primarily 100% relief

It was almost all relief. And the thing that Andy North described to me... you feel so much more relief than joy... it was so obvious that sure there's joy in there... but clearly it was like, just thank God I did it.

Now that he's won the Masters, Rory McIlroy could stack three or four more majors

This is the damn burst that now frees them up to be truly like, fuck it. I'm gonna go do like... he's got a ton of runway in front of him. He could stack three or four more of these.

Maryland needs Florida's Clayton to sprain an ankle to win the Sweet 16 matchup

I think we need Clayton to sprain his ankle. Not badly, not bad. I'm not rooting for it and I'm not rooting for an injury like that guy's got such big balls... Maryland needs to play its best, the best be the best version of itself and I think they can win the game.