A man is delusional if he thinks he can wipe after pooping with only two squares of toilet paper
[A guy] is delusional if he thinks that two squares [of toilet paper] gets the job [done]. He's walking around with a dirty butt, or he's just a psycho.
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View episodeTodd Haley and Gregg Williams are the meanest sons of bitches in the world
My biggest takeaway from Hard Knocks is that Todd Haley and Greg Williams combined are the meanest sons of bitches in the world.
Hue Jackson has a future as the Lorne Michaels of comedy football
I actually think [Hue] Jackson has a future as a Lorne Michaels. He's just been putting together the perfect comedy troupe of a football team for the last three years.
Devon Cajuste's belief in the power of crystals and the full moon will be what gets him a spot on the Browns roster
I actually do kind of believe in the crystals, like the harnessing of the crystal power is probably what's going to get [Cajuste] on the team. Either that or the full moon. Once a month, he will give you a hell of a game.
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View profileThe Chargers' game against the Raiders is a must-win
The Chargers might have the most must-win game of all time playing the Raiders with the schedule they have. If they don't win this week, it's over.
Texas won; Ohio State choked
I'll say Texas win, Ryan Day choke. The play calling, I don't know, maybe they got too conservative. I think they probably did.
Oregon is probably out if it loses to USC
The USC game will be massive. If Oregon loses that game, they're probably out.