The Toronto Maple Leafs were the second-best team in the NHL this year because they were the only ones to take the Panthers to seven games

I mean, if you had to pick a second best team, PFT, it's probably the Toronto Maple Leafs. 'cause they took 'em to seven. [PFT]: I was about to start the show by congratulating the Toronto Maple Leafs on being better than the Edmonton Oilers.

Connor McDavid is currently incapable of winning the big one

I feel bad for [Connor McDavid]. He's an incredible player, but as of right now, I'm just going on the facts that I see — has not won the big one. And we're being a little tongue in cheek, but obviously this will be the, the, the prevailing story of can he win the big one.

The Indiana Fever need to hire a Charles Oakley-style enforcer to protect Caitlin Clark

This is actually a great opportunity for somebody that's like into the bench player on the Fever, become the Caitlin Clark defender. Just start learning boxing, jiu-jitsu, Muay Thai, whatever. And then just be an enforcer. Be the Charles Oakley... that just goes out there and beats the shit out of girls that try to go out at Caitlin.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.