Skip to content
PMTPMT DB
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Aaron Rodgers stopping his cheese consumption is a betrayal of his Wisconsin fan base

Aaron Rodgers deciding to stop eating cheese is absolute fucking bullshit. It's a slap in the face to his entire fan base. ... Aaron Rodgers is basically telling all of his fans, all the hardworking people in Wisconsin that buy his jersey ... You just told them they're all fat asses and losers.

This is a comedic interpretation of an athlete's dietary choices.

More from this episode

View episode
Loss
Jun 8, 2016
#18927
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The US Men's National Soccer Team could make some noise in the next two World Cups

I'd say that [soccer is] better than ever. I would say not this World Cup and next World Cup. The U.S. could really make some noise.

The US failed to qualify for the 2018 World Cup (the 'next' one relative to 2016) and reached the Round of 16 in 2022.
Void
Jun 8, 2016
#18928
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A statement loss to Mexico is what the US soccer team needs to announce its global presence

What you really want – now, I want to see the United States – barely lose to Mexico in a statement loss. And that could be what really announces our presence on the global scale.

This is a satirical concept of a 'statement loss' which is inherently subjective and comedic.
Void
Jun 8, 2016
#18929
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The United States soccer team is the Indiana Pacers of the global scale

The thing about Klinsmann is the United States in soccer is the Indiana Pacers. We've never done anything great, really. We've had a couple good players every now and again. But we think that we're entitled to be a really good team.

This is a subjective comparison between a national team and an NBA franchise.

More from Big Cat

View profile
Open
Big CatBig Cat

The Lions will win the NFC North

I think they're gonna be really good. Are the Lions on Crosby watch? ... I think them and maybe the Cowboys might be on Crosby watch. ... I think they probably will win the NFC North.

The 2026 NFC North winner will determine whether this prediction was correct.
Open
Big CatBig Cat

The Bears could have a top-five offense even if they miss the playoffs

There's a world where the Bears don't make the playoffs, but they're a top-five offense. And our defense is so bad that I can almost—I would be very upset, but I could deal with it.

This resolves when the 2026 regular season ends and Chicago's offensive ranking and playoff status are known.
Open
Big CatBig Cat

The Jaguars could win the AFC South

I think the Jaguars are not getting any respect or talked about a lot. I think they're gonna be really good this year. They could win the South. I think Trevor Lawrence is gonna keep going forward.

The Jaguars' season and Trevor Lawrence's 2026 performance will determine the prediction.