The Celtics are in year five of a rebuild and are closing in on LeBron James' tail

We're in year five of a rebuild. We have the number one draft pick. We're in the Eastern Conference Finals. We're clearly coming up on LeBron [James]'s tail. As long as we can dominate LeBron in the beginning of his career and then dominate him on the way out, I can be content with that.

If we die in the van, LeBron James should be our pallbearer so he can let us down one final time

If we die in Vanny Woodhead, let's have LeBron James as one of our pallbearers so he can let us down one final time.

Tyronn Lue wears a three-piece suit to look official when he isn't actually doing anything

Ty Lue [was] wearing a three-piece suit. What the fuck are you trying to prove, dude? He looked like a classic guy like, I don't really do anything for my job, so I'll just dress up really fancy and pretend to type in an Excel spreadsheet all day.

The Giants will make the playoffs

In the NFC I have ... the Rams. And then my wild card teams are the Seahawks, the Lions and Cowboys, the New York Giants.

The Bills will beat the Eagles in the Super Bowl

It is going to be the Buffalo Bills defeating the Philadelphia Eagles. ... Buffalo Bills over the Philadelphia Eagles.

Deshaun Watson will get even worse

I think Deshaun Watson's gonna get worse. I think he's gonna get even worse. I think it's gonna be comically bad.