Adam Silver texted LeBron James and told him to play bad for ratings and revenue

Did LeBron James get a text from Adam Silver being like, 'Hey, LeBron, all anyone can talk about is how the NBA Finals are nine days away after you sweep the Celtics. We're going to really need some more cash here, so could you just suck for an entire game and look totally disinterested?'

If we die in the van, LeBron James should be our pallbearer so he can let us down one final time

If we die in Vanny Woodhead, let's have LeBron James as one of our pallbearers so he can let us down one final time.

Tyronn Lue wears a three-piece suit to look official when he isn't actually doing anything

Ty Lue [was] wearing a three-piece suit. What the fuck are you trying to prove, dude? He looked like a classic guy like, I don't really do anything for my job, so I'll just dress up really fancy and pretend to type in an Excel spreadsheet all day.

Roman Anthony is a defensive liability for the Red Sox because everyone is successfully running on him in left field.

Roman Anthony, world baseball classic hero. But he has been, he's become a meme basically. If he can't, he just can't throw anyone out from left field. Everyone's just running on Roman. Shane tried to tell me he was great last year, but he was playing right field. Now he's playing left field... it's just not good.

AJ Brown will be traded to the New England Patriots

[AJ Brown is] gone no matter what... New England. [In my] unbiased mind, he's still gone.

UConn can't win the championship

I hope UConn can get it done. I don't think they can win it all.