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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If we die in the van, LeBron James should be our pallbearer so he can let us down one final time

If we die in Vanny Woodhead, let's have LeBron James as one of our pallbearers so he can let us down one final time.

The take is a joke about a future hypothetical funeral and a past performance; it doesn't have a factual truth value.

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Loss
May 22, 2017
#19442
Big CatBig Cat

Adam Silver texted LeBron James and told him to play bad for ratings and revenue

Did LeBron James get a text from Adam Silver being like, 'Hey, LeBron, all anyone can talk about is how the NBA Finals are nine days away after you sweep the Celtics. We're going to really need some more cash here, so could you just suck for an entire game and look totally disinterested?'

There is no evidence the commissioner texts players to fix games; the Cavs actually lost this game (Game 3) but won the series 4-1.
Push
May 22, 2017
#19440
HankHank

The Celtics are in year five of a rebuild and are closing in on LeBron James' tail

We're in year five of a rebuild. We have the number one draft pick. We're in the Eastern Conference Finals. We're clearly coming up on LeBron [James]'s tail. As long as we can dominate LeBron in the beginning of his career and then dominate him on the way out, I can be content with that.

The Celtics did eventually reach the Finals after LeBron left the East, but at the time of the take, LeBron still won the series 4-1 and remained the dominant force in the East for another year.
Void
May 22, 2017
#27486
Big CatBig Cat

Tyronn Lue wears a three-piece suit to look official when he isn't actually doing anything

Ty Lue [was] wearing a three-piece suit. What the fuck are you trying to prove, dude? He looked like a classic guy like, I don't really do anything for my job, so I'll just dress up really fancy and pretend to type in an Excel spreadsheet all day.

The motive behind Lue's wardrobe choice and his coaching efficacy are subjective.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The 2026 World Cup final was boring and sucked.

It was boring ass soccer. It sucked. It made me thankful that the World Cup's over, that football's back. Now we can get back into real football, which I'm very, very thankful for. But that was actually, I think that was the best way to end the World Cup, because I'm totally fine with no more soccer now.

Subjective opinion on the entertainment value of a game.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Fanatics Fest is a cynical place designed only to take money from fans.

It also seems like the most cynical place ever. Like, you can go to an autograph festival or a fan festival and you know that the guys are being paid to be there. And they're still like, happy to see, interact with you, all that shit. It just seems like every single thing about being at that place is just designed to take money from the people that are there.

Subjective critique of a corporate event.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bryson DeChambeau is being targeted by selective rule enforcement.

I think that Bryson definitely did it and it's definitely against the rules. And he got caught for it and they enforced it against him because he's a bad boy. He's had some run-ins before. I don't think the R&A or whatever, I don't think they're particularly happy with Bryson right now.

Subjective opinion about the internal motives of golf officials.