Adam Silver texted LeBron James and told him to play bad for ratings and revenue

Did LeBron James get a text from Adam Silver being like, 'Hey, LeBron, all anyone can talk about is how the NBA Finals are nine days away after you sweep the Celtics. We're going to really need some more cash here, so could you just suck for an entire game and look totally disinterested?'

The Celtics are in year five of a rebuild and are closing in on LeBron James' tail

We're in year five of a rebuild. We have the number one draft pick. We're in the Eastern Conference Finals. We're clearly coming up on LeBron [James]'s tail. As long as we can dominate LeBron in the beginning of his career and then dominate him on the way out, I can be content with that.

Tyronn Lue wears a three-piece suit to look official when he isn't actually doing anything

Ty Lue [was] wearing a three-piece suit. What the fuck are you trying to prove, dude? He looked like a classic guy like, I don't really do anything for my job, so I'll just dress up really fancy and pretend to type in an Excel spreadsheet all day.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.