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Big CatBig Cat

Blake Bortles should embrace male pattern baldness to avoid being hated

You need to let it go. Go full male pattern baldness. If you have a quarterback who has beautiful hair and is ascending and a great quarterback, people are going to come and start hating you. If you have a hilarious male pattern baldness, if you look like Larry David and you're an NFL quarterback... who's going to make fun of you?

Subjective advice on image and likability.

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May 9, 2016
#27506
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Bob Costas is passionate about every sport he covers except for Sunday Night Football, where he sucks

Everything that [Bob Costas] attends, that's the kind of passion that Bob puts, except for Sunday night football. He sucks at that. He's like, 'hey, America, knock it off with the guns.' And then everyone's like, 'oh, shit, we should probably get rid of our guns.'

Subjective opinion on broadcasting quality and personality.
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May 9, 2016
#10760
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The 2016 Cubs are the best team in MLB history and will sweep the World Series

I think this might be the best baseball team in the history of Major League Baseball, and I think that there's no chance that anything bad could happen to them this year. Like, they're going to cruise. I think it's going to be four-game sweep in the World Series.

The Cubs did win the 2016 World Series, making the 'best team' claim arguable, but they did not sweep (won in 7 games).
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May 9, 2016
#10761
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Bryce Harper is a coward for taking intentional walks instead of swinging at pitch-outs

I actually think that Bryce Harper is a coward for not swinging at any of those pitches. Say what you want about Vlad Guerrero, but the guy would take a cut at a pitch out. My question is, if Harper doesn't like it so much, why does he put a stop to it and just take a running start and just groove one of the meatballs that's thrown outside?

This is an inherently subjective satirical take on player behavior.

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France is unstoppable in the 2026 World Cup

When we first got the bracket, I said I was gonna go chalk and just bet on France. They just seem like there's nothing that you can do to stop him. France looks unstoppable.

The 2026 World Cup final is likely still pending or just occurring around the episode date.
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The toxicity towards Christian Pulisic proves America is finally a real soccer country

I think with the amount of vitriol that has gone towards Christian Pulisic, we have shown for the first time we might be a real soccer country because that actually, it's nuts how he's gotten bashed by everyone. The fact that it's gotten so toxic towards this one guy, it's like, oh shit. Maybe we could become a country that people cared that much about it.

This is a subjective cultural take on fandom.
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LeBron James is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers for the third time

Pardon My Take... July 10th. We are the first to report that LeBron James is going back to Cleveland... LeBron James is a Cleveland Cavalier yet again for the third time in his career.

LeBron's 2026 team choice is pending the actual offseason events of that year.