The 2016 Pittsburgh Penguins are the softest and worst team to ever win a Stanley Cup

Congrats to Pittsburgh, right? They are probably the softest team to ever win a Stanley Cup... I think that this Pittsburgh Penguin team is probably the worst team to ever win a Stanley Cup. And we don't even know if they won it. That's how bad they are, that we have no confidence that they're going to win.

The Stanley Cup is the greatest trophy in sports and every trophy should be drinkable

Every time the Stanley Cup champion is crowned, it reminds me that it is the greatest trophy in all of sports, and it's not even close. Every single trophy you should be able to drink out of.

Phil Kessel will celebrate a Stanley Cup win by eating whatever he wants all summer, possibly filling the Cup with queso or hot dog water

Phil Kessel, though, you think he eats now. If he's a Stanley Cup champion, you can eat whatever you want for the rest of the summer... I wouldn't be shocked if that was a story that came out in a couple months or, like I said, just some hot dogs. Like some good old hot dog water and some boiled hot dogs.

LeBron James will finish his career by returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers

LeBron's decision is looming. I think it's going to be Cleveland. Do you guys agree? I mean I think he's gotta go to Cleveland. I think that makes the most sense.

I was wrong — Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are actually dating

I'm going to say I was wrong. I do think they actually are dating now. Don't need the P and V, they got married so I'm going to count it. I'm going to put it on the board.

Cyber warfare is the most terrifying weapon because it can disable everything and return society to the 'rules of the street'

I'm gonna go with cyber warfare. I just feel like at some point they're gonna press a button and we're all gonna be fucked... all the hospitals are gonna stop working. Cyber warfare scares the fuck out of me. It's probably gonna just become the rules of the street and I ain't gonna survive that.