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Big CatBig Cat

Cliff Kingsbury is too pretty to win a Super Bowl

Cliff Kingsbury, that guy's too fucking smooth... you can't win a Super Bowl looking that pretty.

Kingsbury never won a Super Bowl with the Cardinals and was eventually fired, though the take is largely subjective regarding his 'prettiness'.

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Win
Mar 27, 2019
#3262
Big CatBig Cat

Antonio Brown already wants off the Raiders

Antonio Brown is still subtweeting people. He's still going after people... my theory's right. Like, he doesn't want to be a Raider... He's like one step away from being like, I love the Raiders so much and this is the best move of my entire life. I'm so happy and here's a podcast telling you how happy I am.

This proved shockingly prescient as Antonio Brown never played a regular season game for the Raiders and forced his release before Week 1 after a series of bizarre incidents.
Loss
Mar 27, 2019
#3263
HankHank

The Detroit Tigers will win the AL Central

The Tigers are in the Central, right? Oh, wow. Tigers... Is Vegas always right? [Vegas win total 68]

The 2019 Tigers finished with a record of 47-114, the worst in MLB.
Loss
Mar 27, 2019
#3264
HankHank

The Giants will win the NL West

And then in the NL West, we'll go with the Giants.

The Giants finished 3rd in the NL West with a 77-85 record.

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Big CatBig Cat

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
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Big CatBig Cat

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.