Cliff Kingsbury is too pretty to win a Super Bowl

Cliff Kingsbury, that guy's too fucking smooth... you can't win a Super Bowl looking that pretty.

Antonio Brown already wants off the Raiders

Antonio Brown is still subtweeting people. He's still going after people... my theory's right. Like, he doesn't want to be a Raider... He's like one step away from being like, I love the Raiders so much and this is the best move of my entire life. I'm so happy and here's a podcast telling you how happy I am.

The Giants will win the NL West

And then in the NL West, we'll go with the Giants.

The Colts are even less watchable than the Chargers

They are the deadest, most non-competitive football team, other than the Chargers, that I've ever seen. I think they might be worse.

The Patriots feel like a one- or two-seed

I feel like the Bills are gonna lose another game. Not against the Patriots. Lose their next game against the Patriots and then we're gonna be in the same spot. So where do you feel though overall? Like are you the two seed? One seed possibly one seed. Two. Two or one seed. Yeah. That's how it feels.

The Jets can't build a winning culture

You just can't. It's hard to build a winning culture ever. It doesn't matter what you're doing if you're the Jets.