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Big CatBig Cat

Colin Kaepernick wanting to play for the Browns is the second biggest kidnapping story behind Richard Simmons

The whole story about Richard Simmons being kidnapped in his own house, that's only second to Colin Kaepernick saying out loud he wants to go to the Browns. Someone's kidnapped Colin Kaepernick. There's no way his brain got to the point where that's such rock bottom to say, 'oh, yeah, please trade me to the Cleveland Browns.'

Kaepernick was never traded to the Browns; he remained with the 49ers for the 2016 season.

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Loss
Mar 14, 2016
#20369
Big CatBig Cat

I'm not betting any over-unders in the NCAA Tournament this year

I've decided that I'm not going to bet any over-unders in the March Madness tournament. I had the realization that I lose all my money just betting overs because that's all I do. I never bet unders.

Big Cat frequently breaks these rules within hours, and specifically in this episode, Sam Dekker's advice later in the show convinces him to take overs.
Win
Mar 14, 2016
#20370
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Someone will eventually make a career out of just rewording Adam Schefter tweets

Some people are going to be really successful. There are going to be some people that make a career off of doing that [rewording other people's tweets] the best, and they'll eventually work their way to the top if they fake it long enough. The person who's going to be the best at marketing themselves doing that is going to be like a legitimate news source in 15 years.

This describes the entire modern sports media landscape of aggregation accounts like Dov Kleiman or MLFootball.
Void
Mar 14, 2016
#27479
Big CatBig Cat

Every NCAA tournament team besides the 16 seeds is 'dangerous' and can 'make some noise'

The tourney is like I looked at the whole bracket besides the 16 seeds. Every team is dangerous. Every team you don't want to play. Every team can make some noise, which we will get into later. I have a list of all the make some noise teams.

This is a subjective mockery of sports media tropes, not a literal claim about team quality.

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Big CatBig Cat

The Spurs vs. Thunder series is the most toxic series in NBA history

The most toxic series in the NBA is going seven... the Sj discourse, Wendy's henchman, Wemby not going to do media after game five, the blowouts, the officiating. It's toxic. Everyone hates everyone. I love every second of it, but it is toxic.

Whether a series is 'the most toxic in history' is subjective and part of the show's hyperbolic sports discourse.
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Big CatBig Cat

Victor Wembanyama skipping the media after a bad game is a 'lame ass move' for a future face of the league

I like Wemby a lot. That's a lame ass move to not go and talk to the media, especially when you want to be the face of the league... You gotta just go and face the music when you have a bad game. We criticize Rory [McIlroy] when he does this... when you lose, you gotta just face the music.

The value of media availability is a matter of sports etiquette and opinion.
Win
Big CatBig Cat

The Vegas Golden Knights reaching three Stanley Cup Finals in nine years while only missing the playoffs once is a crazy level of success.

The Golden Knights are, it's pretty shocking the fact that they have been a franchise for nine years and this is their third trip to the Stanley Cup final. They have won one, lost one. This is their third. They have also gone to the playoffs in those nine years. They have missed the playoffs one single time. It's a crazy run by them.

The Golden Knights have indeed had unprecedented success for an expansion franchise, though the specific 2026 counts depend on the episode's fictional timeline.