Texas can never lose to Maryland in football

[Texas], you can't lose to Maryland in football. No, you can't do it. You can't.

Chip Kelly is house shopping in College Station to replace Kevin Sumlin

The fire of the hot seat got lit under Kevin Sumlin. So now Chip Kelly's driving his General Lee down to College Station. He's ready to go. He's house shopping. Rumor is his wife... no, no chance. Chip Kelly's married. His girlfriend's football. Chip Kelly's made up pretend girlfriend is now working with a realtor in College Station.

Florida's passing game has been so bad that Tim Tebow is their best passer of the last decade

The best passing quarterback that Florida has had in the last 10 years is Tim Tebow.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Norway throwing a parade for a World Cup loss is 'loser energy'

Norway is, but I think it was more just people being like, oh, this is, this is what's wrong with players today... this all falls apart when you see the, the parade that they threw for the players in Norway. Right. Which is, I I see it as loser energy just because it's like you're basically saying this is the best it will ever get.