PMT DB
PMT DB
Stu Feiner and Marlins Man on College Football Chaos and NYC Heroism
College football is officially back, and it returned with the kind of knee-jerk overreactions and soul-crushing collapses that make life worth living. Between Texas falling to Maryland and Texas A&M staging the second-biggest collapse in the history of the sport, the state of Texas is in a collective glass case of emotion. Big Cat was particularly disgusted by the Longhorns' performance against the Terps.
While Kevin Sumlin was busy blowing a 34-point lead to Josh Rosen and UCLA, PFT already had a replacement warming up the engine in the parking lot.
PFT CommenterChip Kelly is house shopping in College Station to replace Kevin Sumlin
The fire of the hot seat got lit under Kevin Sumlin. So now Chip Kelly's driving his General Lee down to College Station. He's ready to go. He's house shopping. Rumor is his wife... no, no chance. Chip Kelly's married. His girlfriend's football. Chip Kelly's made up pretend girlfriend is now working with a realtor in College Station.
Meanwhile, Alabama continues to be a literal cement mixer that destroys the physical and spiritual well-being of anyone brave enough to schedule them. Florida State found that out the hard way, losing their quarterback and their dignity in a neutral-site game that they definitely should have avoided.
Big CatCollege football teams should never actually schedule Alabama; just have your fan base chant 'we want Bama' but don't play them
Don't schedule Alabama. Just have your fan base chant, we want Bama, but don't actually play Bama... Beating the best is way overrated. As a Wisconsin fan, it's way more fun to just beat Purdue and Iowa every year and then lose to Ohio State in the Big Ten championship... [sneaking] in the back door and then have everybody say, hey, you are the best... It's actually pretty fucking awesome.
The Source at Home
Big Cat, PFT, and Hank took a trip out to Farmingdale, Long Island, to visit the legend himself, Stu Feiner. The interview at Casa de Stu was a whirlwind of weight loss tips, addiction battles, and pure, unfiltered Stuey energy. After nearly dying from a 104-degree fever, Stu decided to get clean and run the New York City Marathon. He’s off the marijuana and the complex carbs, but he hasn't lost his edge when it comes to the reality of the gambling industry.
Stu FeinerGambling is for the rich to lose money and is the biggest lie in America
the world has been seduced into thinking you win money gambling, which is the biggest lie since probably the Bible's true... whoever taught someone, gambling is for the rich to lose money. But the whole youth of America and America thinks you're supposed to win money gambling. So I tell it like it is. I explain to people, you don't win money gambling, you lose money gambling. Gambling is made to have fun and lose your money.
In between stories about trashing hotel rooms like Keith Moon and getting arrested by Donald Trump at the Trump Castle, Stu gave his raw assessment of the upcoming NFL season. While he’s a notorious underdog and under bettor, he’s surprisingly high on a few teams that usually dwell in the basement. He’s particularly bullish on Jameis Winston and the Bucs making a leap.
Stu FeinerThe Tampa Bay Buccaneers will make the playoffs and make a lot of noise this year
I think Tampa Bay is going to be a great bet this year. I think Tampa Bay is a phenomenal team. I think Tampa Bay is going to make the playoffs, and they're going to make a lot of noise. I love their defense. I love their offense. I love the quarterback [Jameis Winston].
Despite his "Source" persona, Stu was brutally honest about his own demons, discussing how he fights compulsions on a daily basis. It was a rare look at the man behind the yelling, even if that man still believes Joe Flacco is an elite talent.
Stu FeinerJoe Flacco is an elite quarterback
Joe Flacco... he does not stink. I think he's amazing. I put him as elite. You give him the right team, he wins the Super Bowl. He won the Super Bowl.
Marlins Man: First Responder
Just when the episode couldn't get more chaotic, a brawl broke out behind home plate at Yankee Stadium. Naturally, Marlins Man was right in the thick of it. The guys got him on the phone for an exclusive interview where he detailed his role as a peacemaker and legal consultant for a fan in a plaid shirt. According to the legend in the orange jersey, he didn't just stop a fight; he basically prevented a case of CTE.
Around the Horn
Talking Soccer returned with the U.S. Men’s National Team struggling to qualify for the World Cup. While most fans are panicking, Big Cat and PFT are leaning into the comedy of the situation.
Big CatIt would be hilarious if the US Men's Soccer team failed to qualify for the World Cup
It would be hilarious if the US didn't make the World Cup. It would be very, very funny. It would be so fucking funny. We could make jokes all summer long and be like, when does the US play?
To wrap things up, the guys tried to Explain it to Hank by breaking down what "Verrit" is. It turns out it's a fact-checking site from the Hillary Clinton camp, which led to a discussion about who the biggest losers in the world truly are. Big Cat wasn't pulling any punches regarding the political class's inability to move on.
Big CatHillary Clinton and her team are the worst losers of all time
It is official that Hillary [Clinton] and her little orb of weirdos that love to drone attack people and give Wall Street speeches are the worst losers of all time... They literally cannot give it up and they cannot... get it through their head that hey, maybe people just don't fucking like you.
If you learned one thing today, let it be Stu’s final piece of financial advice: stop giving your money to the books and find a better hobby.
Stu FeinerYou should spend your money on women instead of losing it gambling
Don't be a sucker. Gambling's for losers. Do anything else besides gamble. Do anything else. Spend your money on women. Spend your money on making yourself better. Gambling's for losers. You're never going to win. Ever, ever, ever.
