Nick Saban is the greatest coach to ever coach anything in any sport

Can we say in any sport, Nick Saban is the best coach to ever coach anything?

Nick Saban can truthfully guarantee every recruit a national title if they come to Alabama

If Nick Saban walked into your living room at any point in the last 14 years, he could say to you and your family, you will win a national title if you come to Alabama, and it is true. You can look at it, 09, 11, 12, 15, 17, 20... You are guaranteed to win a national title.

Nick Saban would eventually win a national title for West Virginia if he finished his career there

I think I would love to see Nick Saban at some point go finish his career at West Virginia. Just like maybe once he turns 75, get the end of the run for Saban, have him bring a couple titles to the Mountaineers.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.