The speed at which a city's NFL players chug beer is directly correlated to the success of their local NBA/NHL teams

I said at the start of the playoffs, I was like, the speed in which your football players chug beers is directly correlated to your basketball team's success in the playoffs. And we've seen it time and again in the NHL, in the NBA. And guess what? [Aaron] Rodgers absolutely cursed [the Bucks].

If you can't chug a beer in the state of Wisconsin, you should be excommunicated

There's actually no state worse to be in and not be able to chug a beer than the state of Wisconsin. If you can't chug a beer in the state of Wisconsin, you've got to get out instantly.

Drake is a Canadian version of a trash-talker who waits to respond via subtle social media changes

That's the most Canadian response ever to a disc track is to just wait and then subtly change your social media. Yeah, take as much time as possible. That's as mean as they get in Canada.

The Vikings officially have a Kyler Murray problem

I think we can officially say they have a Kyler Murray problem. Justin Jefferson has reached his point where he's like, 'What the fuck is going on?' So that would be my point. Maybe there's a Kyler Murray issue.

The Vikings should trade for Kirk Cousins

What if I told you the Vikings could trade for a quarterback that has 18 touchdown passes and a rushing touchdown? Would that be something you think you'd be interested in if you were a Minnesota Viking fan? Kirk Cousins.

Jalen Warren is a top-five running back

Jalen Warren is the top five running back this year. And it's like watching him play, that changes what I think about the Steelers.