The speed at which a city's NFL players chug beer is directly correlated to the success of their local NBA/NHL teams

I said at the start of the playoffs, I was like, the speed in which your football players chug beers is directly correlated to your basketball team's success in the playoffs. And we've seen it time and again in the NHL, in the NBA. And guess what? [Aaron] Rodgers absolutely cursed [the Bucks].

If you can't chug a beer in the state of Wisconsin, you should be excommunicated

There's actually no state worse to be in and not be able to chug a beer than the state of Wisconsin. If you can't chug a beer in the state of Wisconsin, you've got to get out instantly.

Drake is a Canadian version of a trash-talker who waits to respond via subtle social media changes

That's the most Canadian response ever to a disc track is to just wait and then subtly change your social media. Yeah, take as much time as possible. That's as mean as they get in Canada.

France is unstoppable in the 2026 World Cup

When we first got the bracket, I said I was gonna go chalk and just bet on France. They just seem like there's nothing that you can do to stop him. France looks unstoppable.

The toxicity towards Christian Pulisic proves America is finally a real soccer country

I think with the amount of vitriol that has gone towards Christian Pulisic, we have shown for the first time we might be a real soccer country because that actually, it's nuts how he's gotten bashed by everyone. The fact that it's gotten so toxic towards this one guy, it's like, oh shit. Maybe we could become a country that people cared that much about it.

LeBron James is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers for the third time

Pardon My Take... July 10th. We are the first to report that LeBron James is going back to Cleveland... LeBron James is a Cleveland Cavalier yet again for the third time in his career.