Quitting your job before March Madness is the best feeling in the world

It is the best two days of the year to call in sick for work, bar none. I had some friends, and back like six or seven years ago, we would all quit our jobs in anticipation of March Madness so that we just wouldn't have to worry about going into work... it feels like you're on heroin because it's such a reckless thing to do for like this little bit of endorphin payout.

There is no better high in the world than getting to cancel plans

The canceled plans, when I get to cancel a plan, there is no better high in the entire world. Actually, no. I should take that back. When someone else cancels plans on me because I never want to do anything anymore. So when they cancel plans on me, then I'm not the shithead who canceled the plans. That's the best feeling in the world.

We need a 'relegation league' Monday night football game to help people transition off the March Madness high

This is how you wean people off March Madness is if we just had like a Monday night football game on Monday night, like if it was just Titans Jaguars on Monday night, the relegation league... You need sports that your body is craving it. Boom. Football's back.

Spain is entering a period of absolute soccer dominance and will win the next Euro.

They won the Euro two years ago. They won the World Cup. They're probably gonna win the Euro in two years. They're just different generation dominating soccer.

Goals scored in the World Cup third-place game should not count toward the Golden Boot.

I also had one bone to pick. The third place game, which is hilarious that they still do this... The fact that those goals count for the Golden Boot is such bullshit. That's stupid. That should not count. Like that's not a real game.

LeBron James will announce his free agency decision tonight.

I'm fully expecting him to announce at 9:00 PM tonight. Yep. Like shit like that where it's like, I went to a movie on Thursday night. I was like, oh, LeBron's gonna fucking announce during the movie. He's, he's now fucking us... I think that's what's gonna happen. I think he's gonna decide tonight.