It is officially the Washington Capitals' year to win the Stanley Cup

It is Wednesday, March 1st, and it is the Caps year... I'm even more irrationally confident now [after the Kevin Shattenkirk trade].

The Minnesota Wild are going to have a 'mump slump' after several players contracted the mumps

So it's the [Minnesota] Wild that has the mumps, right? So calling it right now, it's going to be a mump slump. There's your headline.

The Kirk Cousins franchise tag is a sign the Redskins still don't know if he's good

In Kirk Cousins' case, it's just a big sign that says, do we know if Kirk Cousins is good yet? No, we don't know.

Spain is entering a period of absolute soccer dominance and will win the next Euro.

They won the Euro two years ago. They won the World Cup. They're probably gonna win the Euro in two years. They're just different generation dominating soccer.

Goals scored in the World Cup third-place game should not count toward the Golden Boot.

I also had one bone to pick. The third place game, which is hilarious that they still do this... The fact that those goals count for the Golden Boot is such bullshit. That's stupid. That should not count. Like that's not a real game.

LeBron James will announce his free agency decision tonight.

I'm fully expecting him to announce at 9:00 PM tonight. Yep. Like shit like that where it's like, I went to a movie on Thursday night. I was like, oh, LeBron's gonna fucking announce during the movie. He's, he's now fucking us... I think that's what's gonna happen. I think he's gonna decide tonight.