Canceling an NFL game causes an immediate increase in local crime

When you cancel a game, there's a crime wave that hits the town. There's an increase in evil that we call crime. So unless you want Canton, Ohio to be run over by thugs tonight, you better have that damn kickoff.

Ryan Tannehill is effectively retired because wide receivers cannot return from knee injuries

I'm going to say [Ryan Tannehill] is injured right now because a knee injury is impossible to come back from for a wide receiver.

The sun is scientifically cold because space is cold

Where do you land, by the way, on our theory that the sun is, in fact, cold? I'm a fan of the space that just seems to shut everybody down. Space is cold and everyone just... When you said you were willing to hear it out, I was just going to say space is cold. That's it.

The Celtics are resetting this season to target Nikola Jokic in 2027

I think the Celtics are basically saying this year we're resetting and then next year maybe Jokic could definitely be in the be in the realm of possibility.

The Kawhi Leonard era with the Clippers was an absolute failure

The Clippers Kawhi era is maybe the most unforgettable or or forgettable, I'm sorry, era of all time. Like they did nothing. Just an absolute tease.

France is playing the World Cup on 'easy mode' and looks unstoppable

France is just playing on easy mode. Like they're not even trying and they're just dummying people... France could have played with nine guys and they probably would've won that game.