Canceling an NFL game causes an immediate increase in local crime

When you cancel a game, there's a crime wave that hits the town. There's an increase in evil that we call crime. So unless you want Canton, Ohio to be run over by thugs tonight, you better have that damn kickoff.

Ryan Tannehill is effectively retired because wide receivers cannot return from knee injuries

I'm going to say [Ryan Tannehill] is injured right now because a knee injury is impossible to come back from for a wide receiver.

The sun is scientifically cold because space is cold

Where do you land, by the way, on our theory that the sun is, in fact, cold? I'm a fan of the space that just seems to shut everybody down. Space is cold and everyone just... When you said you were willing to hear it out, I was just going to say space is cold. That's it.

The Chargers' game against the Raiders is a must-win

The Chargers might have the most must-win game of all time playing the Raiders with the schedule they have. If they don't win this week, it's over.

Texas won; Ohio State choked

I'll say Texas win, Ryan Day choke. The play calling, I don't know, maybe they got too conservative. I think they probably did.

Oregon is probably out if it loses to USC

The USC game will be massive. If Oregon loses that game, they're probably out.