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Void
Big CatBig Cat

Football is like the mafia because once you're in, you're in for life

This just proves our theory that football is like the mafia. Once you're in, you're in for life. And if you just kind of like stick around long enough, your name will pop back up.

The persistent re-hiring of established coaches in the NFL supports this observation.

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Win
Jan 10, 2018
#11124
Big CatBig Cat

I am fully on board with Tua Tagovailoa

I've got Tua fever. Yeah. I am fully on board with Tua... I think it's the Hawaiian aspect. Like Hawaiian people are just cooler than everyone else. That's just a straight up fact.

Tua Tagovailoa went on to have a legendary college career at Alabama, including a Heisman-caliber season in 2018 and being a top draft pick.
Loss
Jan 10, 2018
#11125
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jalen Hurts has a backup job for life in the NFL

He has a backup job for life in the NFL. He proved himself to be the best backup quarterback of all time with a post-game interview. We all know that a starting quarterback and a backup quarterback are very different positions. You just basically want the backup guy to have a heartbeat and to just say, hey, I'm here to support the starter. And then you can get like 12 years.

This take aged poorly in terms of Jalen Hurts being 'just a backup,' as he became an All-Pro starter and led the Eagles to a Super Bowl. However, his character and professionalism (which PFT cites) did prove to be elite.
Void
Jan 10, 2018
#20678
Big CatBig Cat

Jalen Hurts would be the perfect Ohio State quarterback because he could just run up the middle

He would actually be the perfect Ohio State quarterback. Yeah. [Ohio State] does like [quarterbacks like] J.T. Barrett. There'd be no drop-off. Get another fifth-year guy in there who just runs up the middle over and over until you can't tackle him.

Hurts ended up transferring to Oklahoma, not Ohio State, though his style of play did remain run-heavy until he developed further as a passer.

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Void
Big CatBig Cat

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
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Big CatBig Cat

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
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Big CatBig Cat

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.