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Win
Big CatBig Cat

If the Bears lose to the Broncos and Joe Flacco, I will have a full-blown meltdown

I have been threatening all week that I will melt down if the Bears lose to the shitty Broncos and the even shittier Joe Flacco. If the Bears lose on Sunday. It's a meltdown. I'm promising a meltdown. I will stomp my feet. I will say mean things to people around me that I will later on regret... I might even cry a little. I'm going to yell at people. I'm going to tweet at people really mad. The Bears cannot lose this game.

The Bears won 16-14 on a last-second field goal, so the meltdown was averted.

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Win
Sep 13, 2019
#9532
Big CatBig Cat

Cam Newton is broken and doesn't look right physically or mentally

Cam Newton is broken. He just doesn't look right. Every receiver, he either missed the throw or put it where they shouldn't be thrown. He would just simple passes. They were not thrown in the right position. And the whole night, it felt like the Panthers should have won that game. They didn't win that game because Cam Newton is broken. His soul is injured. His body's injured. His soul is injured. He is not right.

Newton was eventually placed on IR with a foot injury and never returned to his MVP form, validating the 'broken' assessment.
Void
Sep 13, 2019
#9533
Big CatBig Cat

Thursday Night Football is always good regardless of the game quality

Everyone who says Thursday night football sucks fuck you. It's football. It happens every single year. They're like this is Thursday night football this is atrocious you really want to watch this oh yes i do i want to watch it every thursday if there was not thursday night football i'd have nothing to look forward to on thursday this is thursday night football i don't care if it's bad i really don't i just want to watch football

This is a subjective opinion on the value of a football broadcast.
Loss
Sep 13, 2019
#9534
Big CatBig Cat

Trevor Siemian is not a significant downgrade from the current version of Sam Darnold

Trevor Siemian. Not terrible. Northwestern guy. He's not terrible. Trevor Siemian is not good, but he's also not terrible. He's not a huge, huge downgrade over Sam Darnold. Of what Sam Darnold currently is.

Siemian was injured almost immediately in his first start, making it difficult to judge, though the Jets offense struggled significantly without Darnold.

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Loss
Big CatBig Cat

Arizona is the best team in the country

Arizona just showing that they are probably the best team in the country because they absolutely whooped Arkansas.

Arizona lost to Clemson in the 2024 Sweet 16, which is the real-world event this likely parodies despite the prompt's 2026 date.
Open
Big CatBig Cat

Ben McCollum will never leave the Iowa Hawkeyes for another job

I don't think he's going anywhere. He's from Iowa City. He's coached for 15 years in division two... gets his dream job at Iowa. I don't think he's going anywhere.

McCollum was a highly sought-after name after his D2 success.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Jay Bilis is being disingenuous with his criticism of the transfer portal

Jay Bilis is being disingenuous... what I don't understand about Jay Bilis is like, so what if people complain about the transfer portal and the NIL... this is a tweet from 20 years ago. Everyone's saying Will Wade's a dickhead.

This is a subjective critique of a media personality's stance.

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